How Am I Really Doing?

Who would have ever thought the words associated with the year 2020 would be: pandemic, coronavirus, covid19, social distancing, six feet apart, the new normal, and change? Rarely can you turn on the TV at any moment without hearing many of these words. I have rarely been a news watcher. I find most of the news quite discouraging and negative. But lately I have caught myself saying “I’m just turning on the TV to hear about the weather” but find myself consumed by all the latest changes. Change in the number of corona cases, change in the number of deaths, and change in the number of recovered cases. But if you are like most people, the word change evokes a wide range of emotions from like to dislike. The relationship you have with change can affect whether you thrive during it or survive it. The last six weeks of quarantine have brought about multiple opportunities to experience change. If you like change, you are most likely to emerge from quarantine with a new sense of purpose and hope about the future. If you don’t like change, then quarantine may have been a challenge for you, and you look to the future with uncertainty. But if there is one type that may cause more angst to our mental health it is the in-between or neutrality. The very definition of neutrality has an element of indecisiveness woven into it. 

There no right or wrong way to think or behave around change. But, it would be highly beneficial to know where you stand on change. Knowing brings understanding and understanding informs your decision-making process. I encourage people not to assume anything – just simply ask the question - How Am I Really Doing? One answer that I have heard during this time is lonely. We are hard wired and created for connection and fellowship. Separation can cause feelings of isolation and loneliness. We have not been able to meet with other people for quite a while now. But how do you meet the need for connection when separation causes people to avoid eye contact in the grocery store? When six feet apart seems like twenty and wearing mask may be the new normal?

There have also been several positive messages that also will be associated with 2020: front-line hero’s, quality family time, virtual jobs, virtual services, less traffic, fewer accidents, cleaner air, clearer water, reimagined businesses. Change does not have to cause separation because it can give us the opportunity to redefine connection and fellowship. So, let us start by asking the question….…How Am I Really Doing? 

I encourage you to take time and explore these thought-provoking questions by yourself, with your spouse, and with your family members. This is a great opportunity for connection and a space to be completely present and heard by one another. Above all be patient with one another during this time of waiting. 

How are you really doing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

What are your thoughts about change?

How have your thoughts on change affected you during this time?

Did you have any expectations of this quarantine period?

Are you disappointed about anything or with anyone at present?

Are you concerned with any fear or uncertainty?

Have you become busier or less busy than before the quarantine?

Are you willing to grow during this period?

Are you drawing closer to one another or further apart during this time? 

Thought-provoking quotes:

“Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure.” 
― Henri J.M. Nouwen